Spicing Up A Bland Biography - Menya Sandaime

North Jersey has its share of great Ramen restaurants but my favorite has to be Menya Sandaime.

Their ramen broth is so flavorful and rich that I'm drooling just writing about it. Don't get me started on their noodles... the perfect balance of firm and chewy. Even their bowls are beautiful and would fit better in a museum than a restaurant.

Now if only their About Us page was crafted as well as their ramen....

The grammar, spelling, and overall flow of writing is odd and seems hastily written.

I shivered while reading it and felt it was my duty to salvage the honor of my favorite ramen place.

See the results below!

You'll see that I fixed the grammatical errors and switched words around to heighten the impact of each phrase. 

For example:

I emphasized their motto by separating it from the rest of the paragraph. I bolded it to capture the reader's attention.

Next, I simply changed up the order of the motto. Having 'Quality is our Recipe' appear first presents the restaurant as trustworthy and skilled. 'Taste the Difference' comes after it because it is a call to action and tells the reader to COME TRY IT NOW.

Other changes are minor and include cutting words out to make the paragraphs and sentences flow naturally.

Remember: Your words have an impact on how others see you. If you are not clear in your communication, you might lose business due to individuals questioning your competence.

That being said, don't let Menya's awful 'About Us' page stop you from trying their incredible ramen!