Too Much PEP In Their Step? - Edible.com's Over-the-Top Mission Statement

I recently saw an ad for edible.com's Mother's Day Sale. It was quirky and fun so I decided to check their website out.

BOOM! I was instantly hit with bright variations of pink and purple, as if the site was designed by Elle Woods from Legally Blonde. I can't hate the design choice because the color scheme did its job of getting my attention and putting me in a heightened state of awareness.

I then went to their 'About Us' section to learn more about the company and their mission.

Only this well-known meme can truly describe my reaction to the page's writing style:
Image result for throwing up rainbows

Just take a look at this scrambled mess of pom-poms and unicorn kisses:

Three Little Words, One Great Big Mission



Our mission is simply To WOW You!®
When it comes to a WOW, we think you know one when you see it. We’d love to tell you more about what our mission means to us: how we spend years developing our unique and inventive fresh fruit concepts, how we require that every piece of produce we use meets the highest standards of quality, and how our in-store Fruit Experts® craft each arrangement with care, because they understand exactly what it takes to make your special occasion extra special. (And if you want to read more about everything we do To WOW You®, please explore further! We’ve left lots of tasty tidbits for you throughout our website.)
But, just like our fresh fruit products, we like to put our mission where our mouth is. If we WOW you, please tell us! (And if for any reason we miss the mark, well, we’re here to help then, too.)
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What the hell is a WOW???????!!!
I know they're trying to insert their WOW motto into everything but it ends up feeling fake and forced. The incredibly long run-on sentence in the middle of the paragraph is the kicker. It makes the reader not even attempt to understand what Edible Arrangements is trying to convey.
Now here's the fun part. We're going to tinker with the statement so it becomes coherent and respectable while keeping the peppy personality of the corporation intact.
Let's go!

Three Little Words, One Big Mission

Our mission is simply To WOW You!®
When it comes to a WOW moment, you know one when you see it. We’ll share what our mission means to us: from the years spent developing our unique and inventive fresh fruit concepts to our requirements dictating the highest standards of quality. 
Don't forget our in-store Fruit Experts®, who craft each arrangement with care because they understand what it takes to make your occasion extra special. 
And if you want to read more about everything we do To WOW You®, please explore our site further! (We’ve left tasty tidbits for you throughout our website.)
And just like our fresh fruit products, we love to put our mission where our mouth is. If we WOW you, please share your story with us! (And if we sadly missed the mark, we’re here to help too!)
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This new mission statement sounds wholesome AND professional. Investors and customers can trust the mission statement and the intentions of the company because the writing style conveys warmth and expertise.

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